Our Birth Matters

Our Birth Matters

As people each of us has a profound need to connect with each other. We want to attach. We want to know we matter. We want to know we are not alone, that we belong.

It's really very basic, a basic human need. It starts before we are even born. We are affected in the womb by whether or not our birth is planned, wanted, desired by our mother. We are traumatized at our birth as we separate from our mothers womb.

It turns out to be such a meaningful matter, our birth, and so often overlooked, and forgotten. So often we don’t even pay attention to the significance of it all. After all, a birth tells us we can survive, and become unattached. It's a paradox of sorts. The need to go at it on our own, a separate identity with our own thoughts and feelings and ideas, and a need to connect with our mother.

As we are faced with the task of sharing parents with siblings, our birth becomes significantly influenced by the needs of our siblings births, and managing all of this is commandered by our parents, which is dominated by their births, and so it goes, from one generation to the next.

Right from the start we learn that we are uniquely affected by all of our family members birth, and how each enters the world.

So often in our search for personal growth, we take notice of the events and circumstances surrounding our lives, and don’t pay much attention to our entrance into this world, or the entrance into the world of our parents and siblings.

Genealogists pay attention to the facts about our siblings, our ancestors, taking care to explore dates around births, weddings, deaths and other significant events as if they are independent of each other. Psychologists, social workers, marriage and family therapists explore the information one step further reviewing the emotional impact.

Highly likely that we don’t know the impact our births has had on us, or even taken the time to consider the impact. However there are tools for people, which help explore these relationships, and help us to explore the impact on us. It’s time we begin to utilize them, to gain an awareness of them for our own health, and the health of our families.

I invite you to learn more about this model, and it’s effectiveness with people of every age, race and socioeconomic group. I have organized the teachings into a total toolkit to provide you with rapid assessments and interventions. I invite you to visit my website at http://www.interactiveteddybears.com and purchase this toolkit for your group or practice.

By Tammy Stoner

About the Author Tammy Stoner is a licensed clinical social worker and trained family therapist. She developed the Teddy Bear Technique® following the sudden and unexpected death of a spouse and discovered a very fast method of generating treatment results when exploring family systems. She has authored a book called The Seven Minute Social Worker, and has published many articles. She has been featured on television and radio, and in newspapers throughout the United States.